I realized I still need to let go of yesterday. Some days I look back at the past and wish I could go back and change something I did or said. I wish I could rewind and re-record. However, the truth is that the past is just that, the past. I can either live in the past or live in the now. So today I decided to live in the now. I need to let go of yesterday and focus on today. In thinking about my yesterday, I miss out on part of my today! And what a beautiful day today could be if I chose to let go of my yesterday!
So in trying to let go, I started thinking about my heart and God's grace. I then started thinking about how God directs hearts. A few months ago I went through this book that was full of questions and then it gave scripture references for answers. One of the references was Proverbs 21:1 which says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes." I read further to understand the verse in context and discovered that part of the next verse states that "the Lord weighs the hearts." Going back a few chapters to Proverbs 16:9 it says, "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." These are just a few scriptures regarding our hearts and how God directs. Sometimes I want to understand more than just the words on the page. I think about how God gives us the choice to choose Him, He weighs our hearts, and yet scriptures says He can turn hearts how He wishes. Even on the days when I let the past come back or I live weighed down by my sins, God is still directing and working things out, for His good in my life. And I get to see this over and over again as I look at my life.
Yet somehow, over and over again I find that I beat myself up about the past, forgetting that God gave me grace. I realize I can't focus on myself and still accept His grace. I feel like I am telling God He is not good enough, that His grace isn't enough, when I can't let go of what I have ask forgiveness for. He let's go (so to speak) of my sins and covers me with His grace. Why shouldn't I do the same, that is "let go?" I have to choose to remember that although I mess up, God is still giving me grace and sees my heart.
Just as God sees my heart and the hearts of others, I have days where I want to see other people's hearts. Which of course not being God, I can't completely do. However, I do feel that God gives us opportunities to see each others hearts, to see the meaning behind the words, or the thoughts behind the actions. I am happy when God lets me see a glips. I don't like to see the bad in people or their sin, I think because it reminds me that I am just the same and have a sinful nature. Of course sometimes when I get to see a glips of someones heart I see both the good and the bad. Naturally, I like to encourage the good: those good qualities or God given gifts that people have. I want people to see today and not yesterday. Although, I think it is important to pray for and acknowledge the bads of today and yesterday, I don't think it is good to focus on them, for me at least, I just end up depressed.
I don't think God wants anyone to feel depressed on a regular basis. When I feel depressed I loose sight of His grace, my thoughts aren't focused on His heart, and I slip back to yesterday instead of focusing on today. I know that God weighs and measures, I believe God's grace is enough, so I can live in the new today! I am so thankful that I can let go with God! I am glad I get the opportunity to see and encourage others to let go! And I am thankful for His grace, for the new day, and how our hearts can be directed by Him!
Here is a little poem I wrote today about the letting go:
Letting Go Of Yesterday
Holding on
Morning gone
Arms crossed
Birds are grounded
Flight stands still
No opening up to the thrill
Pitbulls pace and pass
Help is last
Fire burns blue
A shield or two
Old not new
Do not poo
Let go today
Let go today
Hands opened
Fists unclenched
Letting go for Him
Holding on or swim
Heart unfolds
Mind molds
Letting go
Is just so
People talk
Players walk
When letting go does occur
New life does not blur
Lillies do a dance
Roses take a stance
Take the burden away
Bring new freedom to stay
Letting go was not a dismay
Letting go brings His display
Heart directed
Heart dissected
New life fills my world today
Letting go brings what may
Great blog, as usual! Letting go of the past but at the same time not dealing with the pain is a tough balance. God has, is and will bring us from death to life in Christ as Paul says in Romans 6. This is the process that we see in ourselves and in each other. This can be a bit scary at times but also very exciting as we see how God bring us all into new life.
ReplyDeletei like this blog every much especially your letting go of yesterday poem.
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