Why Heaven?

This morning, during our devotion time, my roommate asked me what I thought heaven would be like. I responded by stating that I don't care, that I haven't thought about it lately, and don't really feel like I need to. Of course, I then went on to explain the reason why and a little more about how I came to this conclusion. I realized maybe saying I don't care isn't completely the right words but I was trying to make a point, which I will now explain to you.

Growing up in a Christian home, attending a Christian private school, and then attending a Christian college has given me different ideas, viewpoints, and thoughts about heaven. I have come to the conclusion that I will just stick to the basics of what is in the Bible about heaven versus trying to sit and imagine or theorize how it will be or what it will look like. I would like to be content with just that and not add my own thoughts or another person's thoughts and theories.
About a month or two ago someone posed a question that really made me think and ultimately was the reason behind why I responded to my roommate the way that I did. The question was something along the lines of "would you serve God if there was nothing after this earth, if once you died that was it, no heaven?" This question really got me thinking, of course the reality is there is a heaven, but I have been thinking about it a lot, really pondering what I would do if there wasn't. And I came to the conclusion that I would still serve God and there are many reasons behind why I would still serve God.

The first of these is the simple fact that even though throughout my life I have heard a lot about heaven, I never really have thought about it much. I realized this is because it has never been the driving force behind why I serve God. There have been times when I served with the idea of heaven as an end goal but it is not the driving force for my service to God. I am human though, so I obviously still want to go to heaven, I want there to be no pain and sorrow, but what that place looks like and where that place will be is not important to me. I have seen and experienced God on earth (of course I can't fathom what it will be like to experience Him in heaven), thus I want to serve Him because I have known more peace, love, joy, happiness with Him than without Him.
Secondly, I am content when I am having good fellowship with God, when my relationship is in the "right" place with God (if there is such a thing as the "right" place). Yes, I definitely have my moments of discontentment but when it comes down to it, I have moments of peace on earth, moments of enjoyment and pleasure, and moments that lack in pain and sorrow. Although, I would love to have more of those moments, I relish those moments and hold on to them as long as I can.

Thirdly, I enjoy the pains of life (okay, so maybe not when they are happening but after). They are the moments when I get to draw close to God, when I get to see myself for who I am, when I see that I need God's strength, grace, love, mercy, faithfulness, etc., when my relationship with God grows, and when I get to see a little more of who God is. I don't think I would want to give up these moments, I want to experience and feel even if it hurts at times.
Lastly, I don't want to miss serving God now. I don't want to be so focused on getting to heaven that I miss now. I desire to see God's fruit in my life, I don't want to be a person that serves in order to get to heaven. I desire to serve because God has put a piece of His heart in me; I want to walk in wisdom and redeem the time (Ephesians 5), even though I have and will continue to fail at times. If I am busy thinking about heaven and what it will be like, then I feel like I am wasting time. Not that I don't think heaven isn't important because it is prevalent in the Bible and we do go to heaven or hell. However, why do I need to theorize, dream, or think about what heaven will be like? My thoughts are I don't because I don't want my life to revolve around what will happen later, I want my life to revolve around the now.

For example, when we desire something like a nice relaxing vacation or maybe a dream vacation. We sit around a dream about it or maybe we even look up information and start planning, yet the vacation may not happen for several years. In the mean time, we miss out on something else we could have been doing. Maybe that something else is just spending some extra time with a friend in need or building a stronger relationship with a family member. The point is we are so focused on this one dream, that we miss what is going on in our life now. Heaven could be a day away for me or it could be 50 years, so living spending time thinking or talking about what it will be like just doesn't seem important to me. I don't want to live for heaven, I want to live for God. Yes, eternity with no pain and sorrow is awesome! And I will admit it is nice to know there is more than just here on earth. But right now I am on earth, eternity is like the vacation that is years away. Why do I not care about what heaven will be like? I desire for my life to be about serving God and drawing others to do the same because God created us and loves us beyond our comprehension. I may never be perfect at service but I am okay with persevering and trying to the best of my ability.
So I pose the same question to you, "Would you serve God if there was nothing after this earth, if once you died that was it, no heaven?"

Simply

I will be moving next week, so over the last week, I have started going through all of my belongings and sorting through what I can give away, sell, or keep. I have decided I would like to live a little more simply and I am tired of moving around so much stuff (plus the house I am moving to is already decorated and furnished in the common areas). I sold my bedroom set last week even though I will need my own furnishing in my bedroom. I will just put my mattress and box spring on the floor and get a smaller dresser. I was actually quite relieved to get rid of it. Maybe that seems weird but I have been enjoying going through things and trimming down my physical belongings. I think part of this is just reminding myself that ultimately no physical item/object is going to bring me fulfillment and that when I die one day I am not taking any of these things with me. Yet at the same time, there are those sentimental items that I just can't get rid of. Those objects that tell a piece of my story or represent a period in my life. Then of course there are those items that I enjoy using or feel I need in my everyday routine. So I continue to carry things with me...but thankfully, I will have a lot less when I move this time. I am ready for a new simple and what better way to start than with less stuff.
I feel like the concept is the same when it comes to what we do throughout our life, as God shapes and molds us, as He gets rid of the old and brings the new. Sometimes, I carry things around with me that I don't need. It is just stuff that clutters my thoughts and heart. That stuff complicates the simple. I have learned that I can give God that stuff and be free to enjoy the simple. Yet somehow at times I still add my own words to His or let the complications in life touch me deeper than I should. I guess that is the beauty of choice, of having a will and a brain to think and choose.

I tend to over analyze things or figure out if there is something more than what I see or read. I don't tend to verbally express my thoughts but my brain is always going. I also have to remind myself that at times, words are just words. For example when I say, "there is a black ant crawling up my wall," there is no meaning behind it. I am just stating a fact. Sometimes, asking so many questions about a statement, just makes the statement more complicated, when in reality the statement means just what it says.
I wrote this poem about complication and simplicity. It encompasses question that arise in my mind as I think about how to make life simple. Maybe life doesn't have to be as complicated as we sometimes make it out to be...

Complication or Simplicity

Life can bring complication.
How do we un-complicate it?
What makes things simple?
Life can bring disruption of thought.
Can we let go of our compounding thoughts?
Wouldn't that make life more simple?
Life could be simple.
Why is it so hard to speak the truth?
Don't people want truth?
Life will be less complicated.
How is it so hard for people to see truth?
Is it because of our own sin of pride?
Life is simple if we have faith.
Why do people believe their own wisdom?
Why do people not understand?
Life can bring complications to those who miss.
How can we tell the truth?
How can love be known instead of human wisdom?
Life can bring hope to you.
Why not share it with the world?
Why so scared of man's own words?
Life can bring understanding of simplicity.
How can you hold back?
How can you let the lost stay lost?
Life is all we need.
Why not stop allowing complications?
Is it what you will always think?
Life can be simple.
Why not let Life in?
Why not stop the complications of man?
Life is love for you and me.
How about let fear slip away?
How can man hurt and say?
Life is life with eternity in mind.
Is it more important what we see in the world?
Or is it more important what we see for eternity?
Life is His glory in our simplicity.
How do we un-complicate life?
How do we bring simplicity?
Life is the Word which has already been spoken.
Why is it hard to hear and see?
Why don't we change from complacency?
Life in the Word turns complicated into simplicity.
Life is simple with God's love and serenity.

Letting Go Of Yesterday

This week has been busy for me. I started my new job and somehow the week just disappeared. When I started this blog, I thought I would be posting more frequently but I don't just want to write just to write. I want there to be thoughts and meaning behind what I write. So this is my post for the week...

I realized I still need to let go of yesterday. Some days I look back at the past and wish I could go back and change something I did or said. I wish I could rewind and re-record. However, the truth is that the past is just that, the past. I can either live in the past or live in the now. So today I decided to live in the now. I need to let go of yesterday and focus on today. In thinking about my yesterday, I miss out on part of my today! And what a beautiful day today could be if I chose to let go of my yesterday!
So in trying to let go, I started thinking about my heart and God's grace. I then started thinking about how God directs hearts. A few months ago I went through this book that was full of questions and then it gave scripture references for answers. One of the references was Proverbs 21:1 which says, "The king's heart is in the hand of the Lord, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes." I read further to understand the verse in context and discovered that part of the next verse states that "the Lord weighs the hearts." Going back a few chapters to Proverbs 16:9 it says, "A man's heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps." These are just a few scriptures regarding our hearts and how God directs. Sometimes I want to understand more than just the words on the page. I think about how God gives us the choice to choose Him, He weighs our hearts, and yet scriptures says He can turn hearts how He wishes. Even on the days when I let the past come back or I live weighed down by my sins, God is still directing and working things out, for His good in my life. And I get to see this over and over again as I look at my life.

Yet somehow, over and over again I find that I beat myself up about the past, forgetting that God gave me grace. I realize I can't focus on myself and still accept His grace. I feel like I am telling God He is not good enough, that His grace isn't enough, when I can't let go of what I have ask forgiveness for. He let's go (so to speak) of my sins and covers me with His grace. Why shouldn't I do the same, that is "let go?" I have to choose to remember that although I mess up, God is still giving me grace and sees my heart.
Just as God sees my heart and the hearts of others, I have days where I want to see other people's hearts. Which of course not being God, I can't completely do. However, I do feel that God gives us opportunities to see each others hearts, to see the meaning behind the words, or the thoughts behind the actions. I am happy when God lets me see a glips. I don't like to see the bad in people or their sin, I think because it reminds me that I am just the same and have a sinful nature. Of course sometimes when I get to see a glips of someones heart I see both the good and the bad. Naturally, I like to encourage the good: those good qualities or God given gifts that people have. I want people to see today and not yesterday. Although, I think it is important to pray for and acknowledge the bads of today and yesterday, I don't think it is good to focus on them, for me at least, I just end up depressed.

I don't think God wants anyone to feel depressed on a regular basis. When I feel depressed I loose sight of His grace, my thoughts aren't focused on His heart, and I slip back to yesterday instead of focusing on today. I know that God weighs and measures, I believe God's grace is enough, so I can live in the new today! I am so thankful that I can let go with God! I am glad I get the opportunity to see and encourage others to let go! And I am thankful for His grace, for the new day, and how our hearts can be directed by Him!

Here is a little poem I wrote today about the letting go:

Letting Go Of Yesterday

Holding on
Morning gone
Arms crossed
Birds are grounded
Flight stands still
No opening up to the thrill
Pitbulls pace and pass
Help is last
Fire burns blue
A shield or two
Old not new
Do not poo
Let go today
Let go today
Hands opened
Fists unclenched
Letting go for Him
Holding on or swim
Heart unfolds
Mind molds
Letting go
Is just so
People talk
Players walk
When letting go does occur
New life does not blur
Lillies do a dance
Roses take a stance
Take the burden away
Bring new freedom to stay
Letting go was not a dismay
Letting go brings His display
Heart directed
Heart dissected
New life fills my world today
Letting go brings what may

Cleaning Up The Mess

So if you know me...then you know that I like to clean. I tend to clean as I go. I enjoy turning up the music and cleaning my house. And yes, I do like the smell of bleach because it is the smell of clean. :) I do not understand how people can live in messy houses and when I say messy I mean dirty messy, not just stuff lying around. One day I started thinking about how some people are clean and some people are messy. Then I started wondering why people are messy, do they just not care or do they feel overwhelmed by cleaning or are they somehow less stressed with chaos? So I then asked different people their opinion. Some people said that being clean or messy is part of your personality, some said it is based on habits or how a person grew up, some said being messy is just plain laziness, and others believed it was a mix of personality and habits. Of course, since I like things clean, I wrote a poem about cleaning up the mess.

Clean the Mess

Is it our personality?

Or are we just lazy?
Is lazy part of our personality?
Are our words just words?
Or is there more behind them?
If God's Word is more, then shouldn't are words be more?
If God's Word says watch our idle chatter, then shouldn't we watch it?
Does that mean our words are more?
If our words are more, then shouldn't are mess mean more?
Shouldn't our actions about the mess be more?
Doesn't everyone desire to be clean even thought they are messy?
Is messy really part of their personality?
If God's desire is for us to be clean, then shouldn't our desire be the same?
Where does the desire stop?
We all want a clean heart but we still stumble, right?
Don't we all want to see beauty and not the ugly?
If that is so, then shouldn't we all want what is best?
And isn't what is best to clean up the mess?
Yes, it may take some time.
For messes are overwhelming.
Trying to figure out where to start.
Some people hire others to start.
Some people just leave the mess a mess.
But the greatest accomplishment is working on cleaning the mess.
Cleaning the mess on our own.
But wait there is one more step.
That we must never forget.
We may have created the mess but strength to clean is not from us.
Strength to clean and cleaning come from the one and the same.
Something more deep in our heart.
The clutter and dust may remain each day.
For each day is a new day.
And may is for service of heart.
Service clears the dust of each day.
An what is in our hears clears the clutter.
Will mess or clean rule your room?
Will mess or clean rule your personality?
What will we do each day?
Is our mess our reality?
Why not work on our mess each day?
What happens as we clear our mess away?
Does it ever end?
What can we learn?
What we learn is day to day.
Cleaning each day little by little.
Until one day the Cleaner has helped us clean all the mess away.
Doesn't it feel good to work on cleaning the mess again.
It's a process...It's a process.
But doesn't our Cleaner say, keep on cleaning every day?
Don't look back.
Don't think you can't.
Don't let others do all the work for you.
For in the end who is accountable?
But the ones who cleaned for themselves and for others.
For we all work in harmony.
Harmony to clean the dirt from our feet.
Harmony to clean the mess away.
Harmony to hear behind the words.
To see hidden meanings and understanding.
Cleaning is for all to do.
Don't miss the cleaning that is for you.
For in the end you are responsible.
Responsible, each one of us.
For each individual.
For each with each other.
In Harmony for all to see.
Messy is our room in every way.
But clean it will be.
For the way is not our way.
Because the words our not our words.
One Ultimate Word.
One Ultimate Cleaner.
Messy we are but clean we can be.

Humpty Dumpty Days

Humpty Dumpty
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall;
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King's horses
And all the King's men
Couldn't put Humpty together again!

There are many different theories regarding the origins of Humpty Dumpty, but I will stick to a simple explanation. The words Humpty Dumpty previously referred to a little, clumsy person or brandy boiled with ale. So if you think about it, it kind of works. One could think of Humpty as a clumsy person or someone consuming brandy and ale. Thus, the falling off the wall makes perfect sense. Then of course there are the many battle stories regarding royalty, losing battles, lack of power restoration, and old city walls. In this short nursery rhyme people can pass down a bit of history, that is if people actually knew the theories/stories behind it. If you are interested and knowing these theories, you can look them up. I, however, am going to put my own spin on the story and share my thoughts on how I feel Humpty Dumpty as a clumsy/drunk/battle weary egg relates to me.

So of course, I ask myself how can a clumsy/drunk/battle weary egg falling off a wall relate to me? Well, sometimes I have days when I feel like Humpty Dumpty. I am this fragile, breakable egg that is teetering on the edge of the wall. I am in the midst of a battle (spiritual, emotional, or physical), sitting on a wall, praying I don't slip, tumble down, and not get up again. It is one of those moment's when my sinful nature comes to flourishen, when I slip away from God and try to do things my own way. I fall, shatter, and recognize that the King's minions can't put me back together again.



Thus, Humpty Dumpty comes to life. He is just this ordinary guy, sitting on the wall. He really could be any one of us. He is clumsy (sins) one day and ends up in this battle that causes his death. Quite morbid, but in all sense of reality, truth. I mean we all go into battle and either survive or die, right? However, where the nursery rhyme ends, growth and life for us begins. Unlike Humpty Dumpty, who in the end is left in pieces, we can be put back together again. We can learn how to recognize and choose to stop ourselves (with God's help) from having a particular drunk or clumsy moment or how to really seek the King in our shattered state. The rhyme always says Humpty Dumpty falls off the wall. Which reminds me that I will always have days when I fall off the wall. Sometimes I might sit shattered at the base of the wall for days and sometimes I might be put back together right away.


I recognize that I need to have these days when I fall off, break, and realize that people can't fix me. When all the kings horses and all the kings men can't put me together again. The image of an egg works so perfectly because the likelihood of you and I being able to put back together this shattered egg would be hard, especially with the insides oozing out. Could we really get every little bit of shell and yoke back together? I am thinking most likely not. And that is why I like this story because it is real life. We all fall and break at some point in time, right? We have what I have dubbed Humpty Dumpty days, where we fall and can't be put back together again by any person. Thankfully, our heavenly King can put us back together again! Making Humpty Dumpty a pretty snazzy guy, egg and all!

Friendship

I was just blessed the other day by a one of my friends. I was sharing with her some of my struggles, all I expected was a listening ear and a prayer partner, yet I got more than that. Lately, I have frequently been amazed by the people God has placed in my life. Not that He hasn't placed amazing people in my life before but this time it is different. I think part of this is just having my eyes open and a heart willing to receive. I have seen how important it is for us to love one another and what a friend truly looks like.

Over the past months, I have been able to really share deep issues, life, fun, crisis, love, and understanding with some close friends. I will have to say that it is such a blessing to know that I have friends that are willing to dedicate their time, strength, and even their money to me. I can't express in words how much I am thankful to God for His provision in my life and it makes me excited to see what the future will look like. Even when we think we are unworthy, His grace is enough, and His love never fails. And His love is what I want to cling to. So here is a poem I wrote about one of my friends and God's love in our relationship.

Meli

One day a generous person I met
She spoke and made a request
A request to offer of herself
The next time she did fulfill
Strong and courageous she can be
Hope and compassion for the world to see
Desire to give encouragement I see in her
Desire to give love I see in her
Discernment and direction she does relieve
Giving and going she does receive
Thanksgiving and praise she does give
To the One in her heart she does live
Listen and learn she has learned
She has given care and concern
Time was not a factor
Time was not what stopped her
She gave me love, that I did believe
She gave me hope, that I did see
She gave me faith, that I did receive
She gave her strength
She was drained for me
But strength was hers for all to see
For strength came from the One in her
Sweet like honey she is to me
For strength carried her through and stuck to me
She held me in her arms
She screamed in anguish for me
She felt my pain, as I lay benign
She encourage and walked me in the right direction
Yet for a moment all I saw was her correction
Could I miss all that she did for me?
For all I do see is her compassion for me
I see how much she is to me
But most of all I do see
Something bigger inside of her and me
And that is what she and me do cling
Thank goodness she showed me how it could be
Thank goodness God put her in my life
Just when I needed a friend like her
Just when I needed strength of more
Meli, thanks for loving me
Meli, thanks for showing me God's strength for me
Never stop listening to the One
Never stop desiring to fulfill His desires
For generous will you be to many in need
Giving of God's love to many in need
A sister you are to me
Love from me to you, Meli

Cooking

Just thinking today about how much I enjoy cooking. So here is a little poem I wrote awhile back about cooking.

Cooking with Flavor in Mind

The flavor is where we begin and end.
Pull out the ingredients from the start.
Each one scrutinized, just right.
Adding the right amount is where flavor begins.
How this is determined is done by a taste.
When the taste is bad, less or more we must add.
Sometimes starting over when the favor is overwhelming.
Starting again with the right amount with one ingredient.


Then one by one through each ingredient.
Tasting and testing for the right amount.
Flavor is important for it is the beginning and the end.
The flavor of each ingredient affects the whole.
Each flavor we must add with an end goal.
Taste testing and wondering how it will be.
Thank goodness for starting new when the flavor is not right.
Opening the oven to bigger and better.
Allowing the ultimate Baker to bake just right for us.
Tasting and testing for the right flavor.
Putting it in the oven when all seems just right.
The oven bakes away.
How much time does it need?
To much or to less may cause it not to have the right flavor.
Overdone makes it bitter and the smell of burning fills the oven.
Underdone is just not quite to perfection.
The time it takes to perfection of flavor.
The time it takes to understand how much time is needed.
Once perfection is reach in the oven the next step we will take.


Tasting and testing if the baking succeeded.
The end result is done by the ultimate Baker.
The whole process He watched, planned, and perfected.
The next step is digestion.
The smell is perfection of the ultimate Baker.
Will our stomach accept and digestion occur?
If the ingredients are from the ultimate Baker.
What choice do we have in what the Baker has baked?
Except to choose to digest for His flavor is perfection.
Tasting, testing, digesting with flavor in mind.

Hair Design

Our hair comes in many shapes and colors
Passionate streaks across our head
Black, Brown, Blonde
And in between
Red is striking


Yes, in deed
Curls or straight
Or maybe wave
Which way should my hair be today

Passionate for my hair
Every color we can make it
Every day we can arrange it
But the true color still remains

Underneath it, it remains

No one knows what will be next

My hair changes colors just for me

But my hair needs strength from constant color

My hair needs help to keep it healthy

Where can that strength come from

For dry and frizzy it should not be

For healthy hair is moist and shinny

Or so we it seems

Right in order every hair we see
Right in order for the world to see
What products do we need
How can we make the hair stay in place
With products and tools does the world say
Just the right ones for just the right person

Passionate people with passionate hair
But what does passion do for us
How can passionate hair remain
For the right products, for our lives
Come from more than what the hands did make
Many colors we can change
But the true color does remain
For the true color is how we were made

Just one step closer is how we came
For our hair design has but one designer
From the beginning where the One remained
The One is more than just my design
The One sees more than just one color for me

For hair design is His business
For hair design He did create
Don't let your hair design be a distraction
But thank the One who designed it with passion!

Have A Disney Day!

As I was thinking about what to write in my blog today, for some reason I couldn't get Disneyland out of my head. A few months ago my mom was going through some old stuff and she gave me a couple things that I had made when I was little. One of the items was a little book I made in Kindergarten. In the book I said that my favorite place to go was Disneyland. Growing up my parents would take us about once a year. Of course being 5 years old, what other place would you want to go to?

Then, I started thinking about my many trips to Disney and this one memory popped in my head. It was my 19th birthday, I was at Disneyland with my family and one of my friends. We were so busy going on rides that we didn't eat for about 8 hours. I was starving by the time I got my food. As soon as I sat down, I just gobbled it up. There was just one problem, I didn't chew enough and I ended up choking on a piece of meat. My uncle did the Heimlich on me a couple times and the meat flew out. According to my family, it was just like the movies, you know when the food comes flying out. Of course for me everything was in slow motion. I remember everyone doing different things. One of my aunts realized I was choking (the meat lodge in my throat immediately so I did not make any sound). Another aunt told my uncle to help me and told my Nana to pray (and she did). I remember seeing the people in the table behind us just staring at the spectacle of us all. After the meat came out I started crying. My uncle told me to turn around and hug him. So I hugged him and cried in his arms. My uncle made sure I was okay, then I sat back down and ate a little more of my food. I was a little shaky but I was still hungry. My uncle made a comment about how he was glad the meat came out because he was afraid he was going to have to stab me in the throat and there didn't seem to be anything around to help with that. And that is my crazy Disneyland story.

Normally, when most people think about Disneyland they remember the whole "may your dreams come true", fantasy, fun stuff. I realize that even when we are at the "happiest place in the world," things can still happen. However, it is nice to know that we get to choose how we will respond. Obviously, this incident didn't detour me from going back to Disneyland, since the picture above was taken a few months ago. However, I could have continued to focus on the fact that I had just choked, chosen not to eat any more food, and not let myself have fun the rest of the day. But I continued to eat my food and enjoyed the rest of the day. Even laughing a little at the way my uncle described not wanting to stab my throat (okay so maybe I was needing a little stress relief). I think sometimes in life we focus on one incident or maybe whatever is causing us stress in the moment, and then we let that incident or stress take over instead of giving it to God. I realize how detrimental holding on can be to my life. Although, letting go isn't very easy at times. When I think of different things that have happened in my life, I realize how much I have learned from all my experiences.

I would actually consider my choking Disney day a learning experience rather than a bad memory. I say this because I relate the incident to the importance of chewing on God's Word. When we take the time to chew on God's Word before we get hungry (something bad happens), then when we are hungry we have His Word ready and available; versus trying to hurry, swallow, and understand in a moment of crisis. Disneyland is just like the rest of life we can let our world be full of fantasy (faith) or we can choose to hold on to reality (our control or stress) and miss all the fun (God's glory). I am thankful that stress can be turned upside down with God. That in faith we can give each memory and moment to Him, taking the time to meditate on His Words. Then He can help us see the good and His blessings in each moment of life, in each moment of a memory. Yeah for Disneyland days in all sorts of ways! The END!

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Tears Fall Down

If you know me well, then you know that I am a crier. I tend to cry when I am happy, sad, angry, and pretty much any other occasion. I don't tend to pay attention to whether I cry in private or public. In fact, I think I have cried just about anywhere you can think of: bank, park, restaurant, bathroom, church, and yes, Disneyland. Anyway, I have always done this, it's just part of who I am. There have been times in my life where I have cried more than others. There have been times when I cried because I saw the amazing grace of God or heard His Words in a new way. There have been times that I cried because I saw how God was working in someone's life or have the opportunity to bring them encouragement. But what is most important to me is remembering I cry because I feel. For the past few months I kind of wondered how much I really felt. However, my tears remind me that I have always felt and will continue to do so for the rest of my life. My tears over the last six months definitely qualify as one of those "cried more" times. I have cried tears of joy and tears of anguish (so if you see me crying don't automatically think it is because I am upset :)) During this last crying season, I wrote a couple of poems to remind me that tears are good and are a reminder that we all feel. I get to choose how I will direct my tear feelings: give them to God, let them fly around in the air, stuff them back down where they came from, or not let them come at all (this one doesn't really work for me, haha). So here are simple little poems about tears:

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Tears

Tears of sorrow
Tears of joy
Tears of anger
Tears of hope
Tears of confusion
Tears of understanding
Tears, Tears, Tears
Tears are never ending
Tears show all our feeling


Tears connect feeling to mind, body, and spirit
Tears are fresh and new
Tears are old and ugly
Tears of thoughts not right
Tears of humility
Tears are what we are made of
Tears are what we feel and see
Tears, Tears, Tears
Tears of a Father looking down on us
Tears of His sadness and joy come one in all
Tears are what we live for
Tears for hope and future
Tears for peace in all
Tears of a loving Father
Tears of His love for all
Tears of His grace come forth
Tears give our spirit flight
Tears released open heavens door
Tears, Tears, Tears
Tears of the Father, Son, and Spirit

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Tears of Joy

Falling down they come
Apart from us they are not
Falling from my heart
Sorrow comes to start
Falling, how it may
Tomorrow is a new way
Sorrow falls away
Tears come to play
Tears come with such display
Tomorrow is another day


Falling tears array
Falling tears wiped away
Tears anew bringing hope
Sorrow falls away
Joy comes in the new day
Tears of joy spreading
Spreading hope anew
Tears of joy, hooray!