No Sorrow For Yourself

I wrote this poem a little over a year ago to remind myself not to feel sorry for myself. It stemmed out of a friend encouraging me to stop looking at all the things that have happened to me and the things I had done. Instead, I needed to focus on God and all of His provisions in my life. Through my focusing and allowing God to change my heart, I was able to heal from the past and let go of the sorrow. Isn't God Stinkin' Amazing?!?!


No Sorrow For Yourself

God has a plan
A plan to prosper you and bring new life
Don't sit by or walk away
Don't run in the other direction
Face the sorrow to move on
For after sorrow comes joy like never before
God has a plan
A plan we don't have to understand
A plan that gives Him glory and joy
Walk the way of God
For in the end your joy will be full
No sorrow for yourself
A simple step you must take
A simple path is all it takes
For God brings peace
With God your destruction stops
God brings life
No more sorrow for yourself
Don't run and hide
Find the light
Find the eternity of life

"Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The LORD, the LORD, is my strength and my song; He has become my salvation. With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation." Isaiah 12:2-3

Deeply Seen part 3

This is Part 3. To start from the beginning go to labels in the right hand column. Click on A Little Story and scroll down to part one.

As we played he told me he loved me. Though just a child myself, I questioned how he could love me when we had just met. I spoke my mind, "You can't love me! You don't even know me!" He responded by saying, "I was taught that love is more than just words, it is how you play and give to people. Since I am interacting nice with you and letting you play with me, I love you. I will let you take home my boat because I love you. I want you to have whatever I have." I was a little amazed that he would just let me have whatever he had. Most kids were mean to me and wouldn't share, and they definitely would not give me what was theirs.

We played for hours that day. If fact, I was there so long that I ended up being late to dinner that night. My parents questioned where I was. I told them I had met a new friend. I showed them the boat and told them the different things we made up. I meticulously explained how the clouds moved and swirled in the wind as we looked up into the sky (well, at least in our imagination). Thankfully, after all the talk of what we did they forgot to question where exactly we played. This was a good thing, considering I was pretty sure we probably weren't really supposed to be in the abandoned house. As I got ready for bed that night, I was disappointed that the next day was a school day. I wouldn't be able to go back to play until after school and even then it would only be for a short while.

As soon as school was out the next day, I went back to the abandoned house, hoping to see Vishwas. I waited as long as I could, knowing I couldn't be late two days in a row for dinner. When we parted the day before we hadn't talk about when we would meet again. I just assumed he would be there to play. I went back everyday after school that week and waited for him to come. There were other children coming in and out of the house playing games, imagining, and scheming up all sorts of charades. Some of them asked to play with me and some just ignored me, as I ignored them. Honestly, I just wasn't interested in playing with them. My fascination and desire to play with Vishwas clouded my mind and I couldn't think about interacting with others. When I went back on Sunday, Vishwas was there, sitting in the same corner playing with a motorcycle. I was relieved to finally see him, for it had been hard waiting and wondering if he would show up. I asked him where he had been all week. He told me he was busy but today was the day he and I could see each other.

New Hope!

I wrote these poems about a year ago when I was in the midst of some tough issues in my life. These poems are dedicated to people that have had events in their lives that have caused (are causing) them pain or led to depression.

James 1:2 (MSG) "Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that, under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don't try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way."

Where God Begins and Confusion Ends

I felt alone.
No one knew.
They tried to help me.
They made me talk.
Sometimes I want to talk but sometimes not.
They didn't know.
How could they comfort me when they didn't know?
I just wanted to stay home.
I was tired of pretending everything was fine.
But I didn't want people to know that everything wasn't fine.
I needed help so I looked for people to help me.
I knew God could help but I couldn't always feel Him.
I needed a person or so I thought.
I just wanted to sleep.
I didn't want to leave my house.
What was wrong with me?
I needed things to be back to normal.
What was normal?
I just wanted normal.
I wanted someone to comfort me and hold me.
What was wrong with me?
I was so confused.
I don't think I knew how I felt.
I didn't feel anything.
Why couldn't I let God hold me?
Because I let confusion rule me.
Confusion must end.
Confusion must pass away.
Why couldn't I let God hold me?
Because I held my head high.
I closed my eyes.
I shut my ears.
Confusion in my head appeared.
My smell was not right.
For all I could smell was stench and rottenness.
My stomach did not work.
Food had no appeal.
Why couldn't I let God hold me?
My blood ruled me instead of letting God's Son come down.
I could not walk on my own.
Fear from confusion entrapped me.
I could not be alone.
For my heart was not mine to give away.
So confusion ruled me.
Why can I let God hold me?
God can hold me because my heart is His.
God can hold me because my life has a new beginning in Him.
God can hold me because confusion and fear He wiped away.
They lay at His feet, as it may.
Love takes away the fear inside.
Love takes away confusion's head.
My eyes and ears are open now.
My smell begins to smell the tears.
My stomach digest like never before.
Walking with Him holding me.
This is where I know I should be.
No more trapped within a cage.
No more sleeping in.
Awake I should be.
Watching and waiting to see confusion of others.
For confusion takes hold of you and me.
No more ruling we should see.
Confusion is lost for all to begin.
God is our director and so we should see.
Confusion our hearts no more will they see.
For God's beginning is all we need.

Fresh and new we will see.

God's beginning, love in me.

Heavy Burden

A heavy burden laid upon my heart
It pulled me down
It hid my heart
A heavy burden that had no end
It caused me tears
It cost me sin
A heavy burden that could see no end
It played with me
It blinded me
Then one day the burden lay
Down to the ground the burden may
For on that day the Lord did say
I take it away
Your heart is mine for all to see
Your tears and sins are upon me
Now see all as they should be
Now assist me in your day
For I can take all burdens away
A heavy burden is wiped away

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us a spirit of fear but of power and of love and of a sound mind."

Being Selfless

"Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus." Philippians 2:1-5

Sometimes I wish that it was easier to be selfless. I had a moment the other day when I could either choose to be upset about something (that really wasn't bothering me in any physical or emotional way) or choose to be selfless and let it go. Honestly, I was a little irritated. I had to remind myself that what was happening wasn't hurting me in any way. I just wanted something a certain way and it wasn't happening that way.

I find at times I do things without thinking about how what I do might affect others. We all do, right? I really try to make sure that I think about others but when it comes down to it, I will never suceed at being perfect at selflessness. But thankfully, God helps me with this and if I find my security in Him and have my needs met by Him, then I can meet others needs with Him. I want my life to be worth something. I wonder if maybe this isn't selfless but I guess it depends on what the worth is or means. God is so devoted to me and faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). If that is so, then shouldn't I devote myself to a life fully devoted to others for the purpose of showing them God's love and hopefully encouraging them to desire to be in His likeness? I wonder what this looks like for different people. Obviously, we all have different jobs and daily tasks we do. How to we incorporate self-sacrifice to others for God's glory into our daily lives?

I used to speak out for God with two motives: one for God and one for me. It was about me first and getting my needs met by people as I encouraged them to seek God. Although, I was encouraging them to seek God, I didn't have the security and peace in God. So even though my intentions were for God's glory, my motives were for my glory (for my heart to be full). Instead of letting God fill my heart, I tried to fill it myself. In so doing, I didn't see that what I needed was right in front of me because my selfishness clouded my judgement.

I looked up the definition for selflessness online. All the definitions I read basically said that selflessness was having no concern for yourself but instead unselfish concern for the welfare of others. For me getting to selflessness means: First, realizing that my words and actions affect other, therefore I would like to live looking for others needs. Second, realize I need to see my needs, give them to God, let Him provide (through His word or others He places in my life). Thirdly, realize others may take advantage of my selflessness but be able to set boundaries to help everyone stay healthy and moving in holiness towards God. Lastly and most importantly, serve others in love with God as my source of strength.

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4-8a

Seeing True Blossoms

Apple blossoms

People come, people go

Pickers pick, pickers stop

Opening up, let the sunshine in

Prunning just right, let the light

Impressions left of new and old

Standing strong as breezes blow

Blossoms bloom as bees buzz by

Spray the bugs

Save from the frost

Perfected care, producing fruit

Hard work is done

Life must go

Start again

Fresh apples, our strength

Strength to start opening

Strength to prune once more

Old and new, fresh is true

Beautiful apple blossoms to see
Seeing true as truth is seen

Seeing apple blossoms true